I Need to Get the Fuck Out of Town

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I Need To Get The Fuck Out Of Town...

“I just need to get the fuck out of town for a few days, man,” he muttered at the end of a long, drawn out story about how this person or that called in sick, how he was forced to stay late, had to wash dishes and blah, blah, blah. This need to get away is a sentiment shared with me from across the bar at least once a week, and we all feel the same way, don’t we? I do.

You grab the little slip of paper spitting from the printer only to find another 12.3 hours to go, with the countless others coming on this next paycheck (and shit, we need it!). Day nine in a stretch of twelve straight that you will have worked by the time you clock out Tuesday night. You haven’t known which day it is for about the last four. Clean laundry was laughable before any of this started and you desperately need to get to the store, considering you have been wiping your ass with napkins from fast food joints for a few days (that girl you brought up the other night didn’t seem too impressed by your resourcefulness). You are a mess. Get your shit together, seriously.


  • Destination had to be Close-ish:

Let’s face it, we are LUCKY AF to get two days off in a row. The few destinations I came up with are generally within a couple hours from Spokane. (Less than 3 or so.)

  • Within reason the trip needed to be Cheap-ish:

I don’t know about you but I’m not rolling in the dough. I took into account activities that were fairly inexpensive, with different lodging options to accommodate varying budgets.

  • This trip is going to be Fun-ish:

The whole point of leaving town was to relax, laugh, and unwind a little. Taking a little leave of absence from the city should give you a chance to re-center and, dare I say it, be ready and energized to come back home and get back to work tackling the next goal on your list.

In an effort to keep from writing 5,000 words every time I’m given a prompt or assignment I’m utilizing an outline-style format, basically just the bullet points of what I’m trying to cover. Should you be left with a question or an extremely kind comment praising me for this great idea feel free to drop me a line at my email address listed in my bio.

OPTION 1: Wait for it... CAMPING!

Spokane Getaway Camping Restaurant Vacation

Yes, old faithful, camping. I heard a commercial the other day that said Spokane is within an hour of something like 47,000 lakes. So, clearly you’ve got options as far as how close to home you want to stay or how far away from those darn city lights you need to be. It’s CHEAP! This fact alone wins so many cool points in my book. My ex and I were going nuts cooped up in our apartment day after day and the monotony had reached a boiling point until finally I declared, “We are leaving tomorrow night. I don’t know where we are going but we are coming back smelling like sex and campfire.” At that point, we didn’t even have a tent. Long story short, (and it is a great story) the trip was life-changing. We came back energized and refocused having accomplished our goal while acquiring said desired scents.

Destination: Priest Lake, ID

Distance: 2 hrs, 9 min (~95mi)

Activities: It’s camping. Do camping stuff. We rented a Kayak and had a lot of fun out on the lake. For dinner we went to dine at Cavanaugh’s on the lake. (not doing a review on the chance I convince the suits to pay for me to go out to the lake and do a “real” review. 😉 The icing on the cake was without a doubt the two nights spent dancing around the campfire and laying on our backs searching for shooting stars.

Cost: $

(Total WIN!) Including gas, food and booze, I don’t think we spent more than $150 combined.

OPTION 2: Getaway to the city so nice, they named it twice: Walla Walla!

This one is on my to-do list. I’ve been to Walla Walla, but unfortunately never really got a chance to do any of the fun/touristy stuff. Admittedly, this trip will require pinching a few pennies, but will feel like you actually went on “Vacation.” You’ve got options when it comes to lodging and the wine tour will definitely help you find that cool wine buzz before making your way to one of the local gems for dinner. Fret not, if you are a friend of Bill W.’s there are some killer antique/vintage shops, legit art galleries and tons of history to peruse prior to hitting the town for the night.

Destination: Walla Walla, ID

Distance: 2 hrs, 43 min (~153mi)
Cost: $ - $$$

Cost will depend on lodging, dining and extracurricular activities. I included links at the end of the article for a Bed & Breakfast, The Historic Marcus Whitman Hotel (Walla Walla’s Dav.) and killer downtown condo with a rooftop deck I found on VRBO/AirBnB. I found some unique options for wine tours (In a Tesla/Limo) as well as some cool alternatives to the Basic “wine getaway” agenda.

OPTION 3: Get the crew together. Let's go make some memories.

Do me a favor. Grab a pen and scribble down eight people that you think you could put up with shit-faced drunk. Now flip the paper over and write down eight people that you could put up with if you were shit-faced drunk the night before and you just woke up to find them in the same house as you. 

That simple question is your first step in planning this getaway. We are going to my happy place. No, not my bed, or a strip club. We are going to see a show at the Gorge! If you’ve never been, you need to go. If you have, you know what I’m talking about. This one isn’t hard. 1. Pick a show that you want to go to. 2. Find 6-10 friends to go with who will make this trip unforgettable (Preferably one with a boat). 3. Determine the general vicinity in which you wish to crash-land, AKA pass out. 4. Start Saving.

Destination: Quincy, WA / Vantage, WA

Distance: 2 hrs, 10 min (~140mi)

Cost: ???

Estimating the cost for this trip contains some variables that will depend on a couple of things, the first being what show you go to. ($50-$100/Single Act – $300-$500/Festival Weekend). Where you plan to crash your drunk ass for a little slumber and how many hooligans joining you is the other major factor in planning out just how much skrilla this trip will cost. I’ve always camped at the Gorge Concert Campgrounds or at Getty’s Cove (Permanently Closed) in Vantage, WA so I didn’t even attempt to research those options for shelter. I found three others, each unique in their own right, on VRBO. Two of those options are located in Crescent Bar, a dreamy resort community just outside of Quincy, WA. The first is a large house on the river that sleeps 6, with varying rates roughly $750-$1050 per night. Renovations to Crescent Bar Island began back in 2012 to revamp and modernize this gem on the river where you can get a two-story condo that sleeps six for about $200 a night. Taking into account the possibility that part of your crew may be travelling from the west side of the state I picked an incredible house right on the water in Vantage, WA that sleeps 8 and prices out around $600 each night.

“Ugh, I hate going on vacation,” said no one ever. Don’t be that guy/girl sitting across the bar bitching about your job, car, Trump or the person listed on the ass end of the “In a Relationship with” line on your Facebook. Get out of town, meet some strangers, and wander around a place you’ve never been. Bottom line, make a memory. Don’t tell me what you aren’t going to do. Instead, share with me what you ARE going to do. The only question I will have is, “how?” Get off your ass, make a plan and set some goals. Oh! And email me the pictures when you get home! (No dick pics please.)

Until next time. Cheers. -Mike.



How to get there —  http://www.priestlake.org/contact-us/directions


Bed and Breakfast – http://aroomwithaview.us/cms/

Hotel – https://marcuswhitmanhotel.com/about

VRBO/AirBnB – https://www.vrbo.com/481875


Winery Tour – https://www.teslawinerytours.com/ or – http://dreamridecharters.com/

Antiques – http://www.shadylawnantiques.com/

Historical/Art – Whitman Mission and Whitman Art Gallery


Large RiverFront House: https://www.vrbo.com/1163602

Vantage WaterFront House: https://www.vrbo.com/472667

Condo on Crescent Bar Island : https://www.vrbo.com/1394956


Recreation: https://www.crescentbarrecreation.com/

Gorge Information : http://www.georgeamphitheatre.com/


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Mike Oehm

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